About a year ago, I walked through one of the most difficult seasons of my life. I was a new mom – just not like the expected fairytale. I faced a stressful pregnancy, and the first two years of my daughter’s life were marked by health challenges. Before this season, I thrived in almost every area of my life, and the acknowledgement I garnered had been a fragile foundation for my sense of worth.

 

Fear overtook my heart during pregnancy, and postnatal depression stole my joy, leaving me feeling like a pretentious Christian. I was supposed to be emotionally intact, getting it all right. Instead, I felt like a complete failure.

 

Hospital visits became routine; staff knew us by name. Quiet nights beside her bed left me questioning myself. All this weight in my personal life also left little for my professional life: my previous 100% at work became more like 30% – just enough to get by.

 

My best was no longer packaged in a way that drew admiration. In the deep, dark trenches, the world grew painfully quiet.

 

Heaven, however, rang with applause for me and my 30%. Even when all I could offer was a desperate whisper, God never stopped being proud of me. In fact, he rejoiced over me with song.

 

Dear you, who feels lost, unseen, or worn thin: you don’t need to measure up to anything – not even your ‘prime’ self. God delighted in you long before that – despite it.

 

The challenges you face now may be part of his plan, or he may allow trials to shape a beautiful purpose. Comparison and worldly validation are empty; God alone knows your story.

 

You would not believe the beauty God has written for your life. He is so proud of it that he was willing to die for it – for you – and he did. Trust the Director of your life. You have always been the star of the show, and he is beaming from the front row as he watches you. Keep your eyes fixed on him.

 

And on some beautiful day, you and I will exchange our cross for a crown.

 

Prayer: Father, thank you for seeing me and loving me through every season. Help me to trust your plan and find courage in your approval, not the world’s. Amen.